2007 Baseball Predictions

Here are 2007 Baseball Predictions for the upcoming season as provided by our panel of experts, including:

Josh Brill -- Johnny Wishbone Editor
Eric Anderson -- Thats What HE Said... Editor
Seth Doria -- The Left Calf Editor
Seth Cohn -- Legal Advisor
Craig Rubinstein -- Johnny Wishbone HNIC

We hope to expand our panel of experts in the future. The Experts fantasy draft is tonight and is sure to be a doozy. Bets are being placed on what round Seth Cohn (closet Red Sox fan) will take his first of many players from beantown. Bets are also being placed on how far the 3B for the Yankees can fall in a draft. Can he make it to round 2 in a league with 50% of the owners are Yankees fans?

Alive and Well

Earlier in the week, false reports circulated claiming that actor Todd bridges had died. However, Bridges is alive and well and currently appears on the show Everybody Hates Chris. Really, did you think Bridges would die before Conrad Bain?

But this is just the latest in a bizarre string of false death reports. A few weeks back, a phony death rumor was started about "comedian" Sinbad.

Why are people trying to take our D-List balck celebrities away? This just in, Byron Allen is dead.

Why Do They Hate Me???

Because I am an IDIOT, thats why.

'Nuff said.

He Might Be The Biggest Idiot on Earth

If you do not recognize the picture above, it is the mug shot from earlier this month of Steve Swindal, who was a few years away from running The New York Yankees. You might wonder why his name is not Steinbrenner. You see about 25 years ago Mr. Swindal made the best decision of his life. He got on one knee and proposed to the daughter of George Steinbrenner. Some people marry into a family business of real estate or retail store.

This guy was going to run the Fucking New York Yankees.

It was announced today that Mr. Swindal and his wife will be divorcing. It was also announced that the locks at Yankee Stadium have been changed, and Mr. Swindal may call James Dolan and see if he has any single daughters.

This guy is one dumb mother $%$#^%^.

Dr. Phil couldn't help?

Mel, You've Got Company

Michael Ray Richardson's NBA career ended because of drug use. Now his CBA career is in jeopardy due to his unflinching honesty. Please note, the following is not a "Borat" outtake.

"I've got big-time lawyers. I've got big-time Jew lawyers."

Richardson later commented on the "craftiness" of the Jew: "Are you kidding me? They are. They've got the best security system in the world. Have you ever been to an airport in Tel Aviv? They're real crafty. Listen, they are hated all over the world, so they've got to be crafty."

"They got a lot of power in this world, you know what I mean? Which I think is great. I don't think there's nothing wrong with it. If you look in most professional sports, they're run by Jewish people. If you look at a lot of most successful corporations and stuff, more businesses, they're run by Jewish. It's not a knock, but they are some crafty people."

VERY NICE!!!!

Consolation Prize?

In case Florida loses to UCLA on Saturday night, Junior Center Joakim Noah has backup plans. The ladies enjoying the nightlife in the ATL are sure to give this man his props on the floor....

Choice B is to go to the Gold Club with Ewing and Oakley.

Choice B please.

Eventually, They All Come Running

Yup, that's Bill Belichek picking the brain of Joe Torre and wondering what it's like to lead a team to 4 championships. Don't tell him Joe.

Good Riddance

In the best news of the day, ESPN has decided to relieve Joe Theismann of his spot in the Monday Night Football Booth.

He then called Daniel Snyder asking for his old job back, and for a $20 million signing bonus.

Has the Yankees Opening Day Starter Ever Been Booed......Before the Game?

It what you can call amusing, disturbing, and worrisome all at the same time, the Yankees officially have some health issues on their pitching staff. It is becoming increasingly possible that the Yankees 2007 Opening day starting pitcher will be:

Carl Pavano.

Yes, that guy.

No, I am not kidding. Do you think I would joke about this?

The better question is, when he takes the mound for his first start since summer 2005 (he has been paid $20 mil since then) do you tell the guy what you think of him?

From what I hear there is a 44 year old who lives down in Texas, and has this pitch he refers to as "Mr. Splitty." He can be reached at 1-800-ROCKET. Please, no calls after 10 as he is asleep by then

The Kentucky Head Coach Short List

Since the U of Kentucky HC job is wide open here is a short list of the new candidates. Would like to hear some thoughts from you all on who you might add to the list, or delete.

1. John Calipari -- Has ties to UK and, according to a former Division I Head Coach, "He has the BS needed to succeed there."
2. Billy Donovan -- Also has ties to UK and would be a step up from Florida
3. Tom Crean
4. Billie Gillespie -- Has turned around a Texas A&M program who recently was 0-16 in Conference play
5. Mark Few -- Apparently Few is waiting for Lute Olsen to retire to take over at U of A

Tony LaRussa Arrested for DUI

According to news reports, Tony LaRussa was arrested early this morning on suspicions of DUI. LaRussa was found asleep at the wheel at a red light. His SUV was in Drive while his foot was still on the brake.

What in the world would have made the police suspicious??? Do you think he drives with his sunglasses on at night?

No word on whether LaRussa was returning from a night of drinking with Britney.

R.I.P

Calvert Deforest, AKA Larry "Bud" Melman
7/23/21 - 3/19/07

Another Reason I'll Never Go To Starbucks

Have you seen the bigger piggies
In their starched white shirts
You will find the bigger piggies
You will find the bigger piggies
Stirring up the dirt
Always have clean shirts to play around in.

George Harrison wrote it but The Beatles performed it. They represented everything that was great about the 60's. There was no bullshit with them and they were against the corporate "piggies". That's why I was sickened to read that Paul Mccartney signed a deal with Starbucks Records. Starbucks already ruined coffee, a drink that should never be more than 75 cents a cup. Now this. Like Paul couldn't find any other label? I know those are corporatons too but atleast they are music companies. Maybe this was after negotiations broke down with Verizon Records and Chevron Records. But I guess if a one legged broad was taking me to the cleaners for $60 mill, I might be a sellout too.

File This Under Disturbing

Eddie just looks way too happy (for any male over the age of 12) to be in the arms of Michael Jackson.

I Hate Huckabees?

Here's video of a little "disagreement" between Lily Tomlin and Director David O'Russel one the I Heart Huckabees Set.

O'Russel also has had a fist fight on set with Clooney. We're not sure but we think by punching Clooney in his face he is sure to get 51% of the worlds population against you very quickly. Thoughts ladies?

Shaq Teaches the Kids to Dance

Shaq (Ozone), LeBron (Turbo), abd Dwight Howard (Kelly?) do their rendition of Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo during NBA All-Star Weekend.

No word on whether PacMan Jones shot them afterwards.

Ueck Snake Moan

Anne E. Ladd has been stalking Bob Uecker for 7 years. Yes, that Bob Uecker. In September, she was issued a restraining order requiring her to to stay at least 1,000 feet away from him and barred her from attending any game he was announcing. But she's only human after all. And like most women, she repeatedly gets that jones for the man who played George Owens on all 117 episodes of Mr. Belvedere. Friends recount stories of Ladd pulling out her vibrator during episodes of Uecker's syndicated series, "Wacky World of Sports".

On Monday, Ladd attended a Brewers spring training game that Uecker was calling. Phoenix police had to be called, as Ueck feared for his safety. Brewers star Prince Fielder spoke about the distraction after the game, saying: "She got dat sickness. She gotta get Ueck, or she go crazy."

People, I ask you: Does she look like the stalkin' type?

Hmm, Can You Give Me The Pete Rose?

That must have been what Phil Spector said to his barber when he got his new haircut. Apparently he made the change to appeal more to the jurors. Yes, because jurors love awful hair.

Drunk, or Misunderstood?

Here is a perfect example of how to handle the cops when you are pulled over for driving under the influence. Priceles..

Reminder: Do Not Try and Bluff Joey Porter.

Note to self: Next time you are at the Palms Casino, do not get into a trash talking contest with Joey Porter. Apparently Levi Jones of the Bengals made that mistake and his jawbone paid for it.

"A fist fight between two NFL players broke out in the Palms casino on Sunday night, sources said. Joey Porter, an All-Pro linebacker who recently left the Pittsburgh Steelers to join the Miami Dolphins, brawled with Cincinnati Bengals offensive lineman Levi Jones, at about 6 p.m. at a blackjack table in the casino.

Jones, who suffered scratches, told Las Vegas police he would be filing charges against Porter. Sources said there has been bad blood between the two."

Report on ESPN

Doesn't Look Crazy To Me

There's no way Phil Spector could have shot some one. Look at him, he's clearly sane. We're the crazy ones.

Make Room In The Tank....For Tank

No, the short jewish guy next to Tank Johnson isn't his agent, but they are discussing a succesful negotiation. It's his lawyer and the negotiation was succesful because he could have went to jail for a year but now it's only 4 months!!! The Bears defensive lineman is headed to the joint after 6 unregistered weapons were found at his home, after already being on probation for a previous weapons charge. Tank is the latest pro athlete to prove he's more of a pro jerkoff. But let's give Tank some props for keeping the streak alive for consecutive days I've read a story about an athlete that's related to guns, drugs, battery or DUI. Keep reaching for the stars, fellas....

If Only the Mailman Dressed as Chewbacca

These are the new mailboxes to be used based on a partnership between the USPS and LucasFilms. Can the man do anything wrong?

Where Have You Gone Pete Gaudet?

I feel like one of the few people who are not overjoyed by Duke losing last night. Being the only upset of the first round makes it even worse. But these are not your older brothers Dukies.

When was the last time that Duke did not have a reliable player to set a play for during crunch time? Last night was one of those nights you wished Jason Williamswas there to step out of the huddle (in place of McRoberts) during the last minute. Speaking of which, has Duke ever had a "leader" who couldn't take over the game? Last year at this time the talk was whether McRoberts would be a lottery pick. At this point he may be catching passes from Khalid El-Amin in the Israeli league by next summer. It's not to late to transfer out Josh.

By the way Josh, do you think you might have stepped up and contested the last shot? When a player curls like that and the defender is trailing its your job to step in and help, and stop the ball. They teach this in H.S. Hoops. I am sure Coach K has taught you this as well.

Next season's team should be better if only because of being a year older. But whose team is it? Paulus? Scheyer?

Hopefully when MSU beats UNC next round a little bit of the sting will go away.

It's now baseball season.

Grillin' And Killin'

Need more evidence that people from Boston are wicked morons? Brad Delp, lead singer of the awful group Boston, committed suicide by lighting two charcoal grills in his bathroom, leading to carbon monoxide poisoning. No word on whether or not the group's hit song "Smokin'" was playing at the time of death.

Real Folks 1, White Elitists 0

Perhaps, a little more time in the film room Coach K. Congrats to VCU! I think he might be watching Bang That White Ass #14, instead of studying game tapes of the Rams.

Can The Gators Repeat?

Today is the least productive day of the year at the office, and the most fun for everyone around the country. It is time to get out your alumni t-shirts, your old Duke hats, and all of the brackets you have filled out. There are a number of questions on every ones mind:

Can Florida Make it two in a row? (yes)

Who is this years George Mason? (no one)

Who is the first #1 Seed to lose? (Tar Heels)

What coach is greeted by Billy Packer (on his knees) after his game? (Tony Bennett)

Will Georgetown ride the wave of its next great student to a title? (Jordan Rubinstein will be attending Graduate school there)

Leave your answers in the comments section and don't forget to sign up for the Johnny Wishbone Bracket Challenge

Is It Really Up To Me? Then GET THE F**K OUTTA HERE!!!

He just doesn't get it and apparently he never will. Our 3B has still not learned that the key to being successful in NY is to just shut up and play. And if you are going to constantly open your mouth, then you better back it up ( a la Reggie Jackson). The 3B said in an interview with Mike and The Mad Dog: "Either New York is going to kick me out of New York this year, say 'I've had enough of this guy, get him the hell out of here,' and we have an option. Or New York is going to say, 'Hey, we won a world championship, you had a big year, you were a part of it and we want you back.'"

Well buddy, we've already had enough. But if you shut up and get some big hits, you MIGHT be somewhat tolerable. And perhaps it's time to stop posing for photos best suited for alternative magazines. Is there anyway we can combine his talent with Helen Kellers sensory system? If so, we may have something.

Let's Get Those Brackets Filled Out

By now I am sure everyone has seen enough coverage of college basketball to know who the Mid-Majors are, who the top players are, and know that Isiah traded away the Knicks pick next year and we will reap no benefits from the best freshman class we've seen.

I am still coming to grips with not choosing Duke to win it all, as I think they have been my winner every year since 1987. Maybe they can make a run? At least one New Yorker is rooting for it to happen.

There have only been a few people who signed up for the Johnny Wishbone Tournament Challenge, so please pass this link on to your friends and let's see if we can generate a good group.

Here is the link

R.I.P

William Mattingly, father of Donnie Baseball, passed away on Tuesday. Our thoughts are with you and your family, Donnie.

I am Not Here to Talk About the Past

The above quote made famous by Mark McGwire can now be used by America's (once) favorite action star, Sly Stallone. Did people really expect that at 60 years old he could look like he did in the latest Rocky movie?

Sly has been charged with sneaking vials of Hormones into Australia. See the complete article here.

Sorry for the slow posts today, been hectic!

Winthrop?

With all of this talk about mid-major Conferences in the NCAA Tournament, we thought it would be a good time for the REAL Winthrop to stand up. Or lie down.

Classic Eddie at his best.

WHY?????

The hoops equivalent of Bush being re-elected. And clearly the true definition of March Madness.

Remind Us Not to Go To Sweden

America's favorite Dogg has again been arrested. This time it was not for possession of anything.

"He was arrested for use of narcotics. It's illegal in Sweden to use them, even to have it in your system," he said.

"You can see that a person indicates that he has used narcotics in looking at his eyes or his movements. (Police) suspected that he had taken drugs."

There's something going on when you can be arrested for being suspected of taken drugs. Dennis Hopper should probably steer clear of this spot.

The big question is this: Is ABBA clean?

Click for full article

The Best Thing About the Tourney: No Games Done by Dick Vitale

This week begins the least productive Thursday's and Friday's in businesses everywhere. If you have some extra personal days to use then this is the time to do it.

I have set up a pool for those of you who want to join in. Let's make this one free since collecting the money from all of our readers on foreign soil could be a daunting task.

Johnny Wishbone Tournament Challenge

It's Too Funky In Here, Gimme Some Air

The late great James Brown's body is being treated like shit. Yup, I said it. The family keeps fighting over where he should be buried. Meanwhile, this cat died two months ago!!! When we die, we want a final resting place, yet JB is being passed around like a joint. His latest stop is in a crypt in the basement of one of his daughters. How would you like to have that in your basement? Word is they are building a final resting place for The Godfather but family disputes are bound to delay that as well. He's been The Hardest Working Man In Show Business for over 50 years, can't we let the man rest?

Why I Hate This Week

The anniversary of the passing of two of the great ones: John Belushi (3/5/82) and Biggie Smalls (3/9/97). Wish you were here, fellas.....

Jackson Clones Himself With Plans To Start Babysitting Service

Really, can you tell which is the real one? MJ, caked in what must be left overs from Cesar Romero's Joker makeup from the old Batman series, has cloned himself and plans on cloning between 5-10 more "Gloved Ones". The New Jacksons, as they are being called will be launching a country wide babysitting service. Plans are to have the service up and running in most major cities by mid 2008. During the press conference, an unuasually candid MJ revealed the longstanding secret behind wearing the glove, saying they protect him from leaving fingerprints on little boy penis.

Bring Ernie Accorsi Back Please

Willis McGahee--nahh

Dominic Rhodes--nahh

Rueben Droughns-- ARE YOU KIDDING ME

Are the Gmen getting the Broncos O-Line? Is Shanahan coaching them? Alex Gibbs?


Well it's safe to say that the first year of free agency under Jerry Reese is a wash. Here's looking forward to Eli getting the crap kicked out of him next year since the run game will scare no one.

Great way to start the weekend!

4 Good Reasons to Go to Mardi Gras Next Year

I guess the only question I have is this. Does this guy always check out his daughters assets? I wonder what the dress code for Easter dinner is.

Kentucky v Duke: Hill Pass, Laettner Jumper

Memories.....

Pavano Wants Refund?

This comes from the "are you fucking kidding me" catalog.

Carl Pavano is apparently not paying his agent ANY commissions from the $39.5 million contract he signed with the Yankees 3 seasons ago. His reasoning for this is that he should have received at least $40 million and his agents did him a disservice and he will not pay the commissions for this.

Surely there is some irony in this. This guy is truly amazing. He has been paid $20 million dollars for the past 2 years and has ONLY 4 more major league wins than me since 2005.

What did Milano see in this man? The gratuitous pic above is Pavano's recent flame. And they say money can't buy everything?

Landmark Day--Someone Posted a Comment and They Are Not in My Family!

We'd like to thank neale for being the first commented on Johnny Wishbone! Frankly we are honored that you read the blog. This also leads us to believe that we need more women lesbian coaches to hook up with their players, since that will be the only women's hoops references you see here any more.

We should have some posts up soon so thanks again neale and feel free to introduce our blog to your friends.

Go Lady Tigers!!!!

I do not find women's college basketball exciting....until a lesbian subplot is added, that is. Now the powers that be at LSU have ruined a potentially hot situation by firing the coach. For the uninformed Pokey Chatman, head coach of LSU's Lady Tigers was having an affair with one of her former players. And for this, she has been forced to resign. This despite having a 90-14 record as head coach. 90-14 is a really good record, especially for a lesbian. The prospect of the sweaty girl-girl action of women's hoops is a lot more appealing to me after reading about this but unfortunately the NCAA has ruined it. This is truly March Madness.

Gratuitous Photos for When Josh Checks the Blog Today

Click Here For More...

Now I Can REALLY Die a Yankee

This is great actually. Now instead of being burned up after death and rolled up and smoked, I can be placed on the mantle (pun intended) and watch the games with my great-grand children in my NYY urn.
NYT article

Strippers Don't Just Steal Your Money At The Club

No bro, the 19 year old strippers really like you. It has nothing to do with the fact that you're a moron who works at the grocery store bank they plan on robbing.

And if a lap dance from her costs mote than $1.49, that's the real robbery. Click Here for video

Shocking News, Schilling Can't Shut Up!

Thanks to the guys from Deadspin.com I noticed that Curt Schilling (yes, the guy from the Orioles) has a blog. At first we figured it was him standing atop his car screaming things at anyone who will listen. Why we think he'd be better served on the elliptical machine he apparently has time for his "fans." Such as you see below.

1. on 08 Mar 2007 at 3:11 am by craigruby

Do you talk in your sleep? Why do you feel the need to offer your opinion on everything in the world? You are a baseball player, no more, no less. No one outside of Red Sux fans gives a flying hoot what you think about politics, global warming, or Iraq.

When you retire, do you think you can just go away? Maybe hang out with McGwire in witness protection for a century or two.

Thats all.

1. on 08 Mar 2007 at 3:20 am Curt Schilling

Hey craigruby don’t click on the link, quick and painless that way.

Welcome Everyone (all 3 of you)

Craig, Josh, and Seth set this blog up a few months back since we are sick of emailing and instant messaging all day. We are hoping to put some actual content up here each day. You can probably tell who is posting things by what is written. Josh writes complete sentences. Craig posts pictures and phrases (and countdown clocks). Seth probably doesn't even know how to log in, so that may take some time.

Obviously the blog name came from our favorite son, Eddie. At this point he needs just one name. From time to time there will probably be random Eddie lines, quotes, or latest his latest "conquests" posted here. Don't mind us. We won't mind you.

We want to post things from others too, so if you see anything we should add here let us know as we are rookies at this. Think Jeter in '96. It would be great to have people comment on the posts on the pages we can get a dialog started with everyone.

This could be fun, or it could be dumb. Or both.

The Crazy Molesting Uncle is Yesterday's News

The bar has officially been raised. Merely touching your niece or nephew in an innapropriate manner just won't cut it if you'are looking for "Crazy Uncle" status. By now, you've probably seen the video of the Texas teens who made the little kids smoke blunts. What you may not have seen is his rationale for doing this. As you'll see in the video, this guy is clearly wise beyond his years and has a way with words that we can all envy. He explains that it's not a big deal because the kid would eventually smoke weed anyway. Fair point, Unc. And he is also right when he says that we have all blown this out of proportion. I've actually hung out with those little kids and they love hookers and girls in white cotton panties. Plus they smoke 3 packs a day and each carries a flask containing Old Grandad whiskey. So the Uncle is right, we're clearly judging without all the facts.


http://www.cnn.com/video/player/player.html?url=/video/us/2007/03/06/sots.mccoy.pot.smoking.kids.wfaa

Coming Soon to a college near you......

Strip Club Etiquette 101 with Professor Pacman Jones

"Hi, I'm Pacman Jones. Are you tired of ungrateful strippers taking your money before you believe they've truly earned it? Not enough grindin? Not enough knee to crotch contact? How 'bout brushin that nipple against your lip a few more times? Afraid to ask? After my class, you won't be. Learn the secrets of the Rain Dance and I garuntee you'll be making strippers cower in fear in no time flat. Make it rain, baby. Make it rain."

Where's Jackie Junior When You Need Him?

If You Can't Beat Em, Beat the Crap Out of Him

I find the sight of blood coming from a UNC hoops player extremely.....

FANTASTIC.

In other news, Pavano woke up with no arms or legs this morning.

Play Ball!

It's that time of year again.

The grass is green.

The pinstripes are clean.

And I sound like a fag with all these rhymes, so I will get to the point.

It's baseball season, play ball!